April 21, 2016

Dealing with Conflict


Life can be great and full of smiles, but unfortunately there are also times when you are faced with moments of conflict, whether it be between you and your best friend, between family members (these moments tend to happen more often when you are younger), or at work, they are all highly uncomfortable. Being someone who really despises conflict, I guess you could say that I am that “happy go lucky” type that avoids conflict with all my might, I really despise these face-offs. There is just something about the fact that this moment of mutual unhappiness could lead to future awkwardness, and possible moments of unfriendliness, that makes me want to run away. But, making the run for it or pretending that there is no problem whatsoever is probably the WORST thing that you could do.

Once all the dirt has been spilled, you can sort through it and maybe find a way to come to a point of mutual understanding.

Over the past 25 years I have learned one very important lesson: no matter how uncomfortable it might be, when a moment of conflict arises you need to open your mouth and your mind and air it out. Okay, I know that sounds a little funny, but you really do have to say what you are feeling, and at the same time stay open minded whilst giving the other party a chance to voice their feelings. Once all the dirt has been spilled, you can sort through it and maybe find a way to come to a point of mutual understanding. Sometimes its hard, and sometimes people say things that they should not, but the important part of the whole exercise is to clean the air and enable yourself to move forward without feeling angry all the time.

So how do you deal with conflict in the best way possible?

Firstly, take a breath and assess the situation. Figure out why you are feeling upset and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes to see if you would have acted the same way that they have. If you think that the situation is going to affect your relationship with this person, you should approach them and try and sort it out.

When approaching them, make sure that you do not raise your voice and ask them to stay calm as well, because nobody really listens when they are being shouted at. Seriously.

Remember to use your filter. Yes, I know it’s hard, but make sure that what you are saying is true, and is not unnecessarily hurtful,because that will just take the conversation into a whole new battlefield where you do not want to go.

Lastly, try to understand each other’s points of view. We are all different and sometimes it’s hard, but one has to compromise and forgive in order to move forward.

Once all has been said and done, give each other a hug, kiss, or handshake, whatever floats your boat and try to not repeat the situation that caused the conflict again.

I hope that this helped you. Please let me know if you have any tips that you would like to share!



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